Allo?

Last week Liam and I went to the theatre. I had bought two tickets to a Russian "spectacle" for his birthday. The play was titled "Lady and her Men" and chronicled a Russian woman who, in addition to exhibiting completely self-destructive behavior, had little luck with the men in her life.

When Liam was studying Russian, he bought a tape of a Russian comic and would listen to it non-stop. I remember driving somewhere and he had the tape playing in the car and he was telling the jokes along with the comic. He listened to that tape so much the ribbon actually started to wear thin. (And yes, we're so 1980s with our tape player.) So I figured a comic play might be fun and a good language lesson too.

What I didn't count on was the Azeri lesson we'd also receive.

We arrived at the theatre a little late and took a seat in the back. We had missed about 15 minutes but it was easy to catch up. Russian woman dating married man. She loves him. He loves his wife. She begs him to stay. He has to go home to the kids. The language was really simple and, in theatrical style, the actors really enunciated their words which made comprehension that much easier.

Then it started.

"Brrrrring. Brrrrrring." The cell phone next to us went off.

"Allo?" the woman whispered into the phone.

It was bad enough that the phone had gone off, but to pick it up!? I thought for sure she would hang up right away. But something important must have been going on because she talked for a good thirty seconds before saying good-bye.

How rude, I thought. I settled back into my seat.

"Beep. Beep. Beep." Two rows in front of us.

"Allo?"

And so it went. For the entire play. I would guess about twenty cell phones went off throughout the performance and more than half of them were picked up. The most offensive were the loud pop-rock ringtones from the likes of Britney Spears and the Pussycat Dolls.

I am particularly sensitive to cell phone etiquette. When one rings in a restaurant I quickly scan the room and then scowl at the offender. I just think we should still have sanctuaries free of electronic ringing and vibrating. But even if I'm super sensitive, I would imagine the theatre is a place where we can all agree that silence is the best policy.

Especially, especially, if you've decided to express yourself with a Pussycat Dolls ringtone.